No, not one of those.. those are easy. You just buy yourself a red Porsche and get a gym subscription. Been there, done that. I am talking about something far more serious and dangerous.

A Midwindsurfinglifecrisis.

(Sorry, that's my new knack for stitching really long words together. How German of me ;-)

Here is me.. an "old" picture. This was taken around November last year in Brazil. About 10 months ago. Eduardo pointing at my ass for some reason. I think I remember getting into some sort of competition over the execution of this Spock. Yelling obscenities on the water to your friends.. freestyling like you invented it under the scorching Brazilian sun. A regular day in the context of last year.

Little did I know, that perhaps, this moment. An otherwise "ordinary" windsurfing day during my last stint, could in hindsight be , the apex of my windsurfing career. That is it. That was as good as it gets.

I tried to reproduce the magic this year, destination: Tarifa. And only 1.5 weeks into the trip, I am pulling the emergency stop lever. Aborting, packing up and going back home.

I could do a spot report about it, but frankly, I think I am going to go with that old saying.. "if you can't say something nice about somebody, then .. just don't". For those of you interested, I'd summarize it like this: Serious wave or freestyle windsurfers need not apply. B&J is ok. Makes sense mostly if you are a young college student with more time than money, own a surf van and live in Europe. Then, you'd take a road trip with friends, camp it out, get stupid with one too many "cervezas" and go back home with epic stories of beach events that probably have little to do with the windsurfing you might manage to fit in during the day in between drinking sessions.

So, sure.. the conditions are not appealing to those fortunate enough to have experienced some of the primo places in the world.. but if you think I am being snobby, think again. To my old peeps back in Ontario.. A Sandbanks day is orders of magnitude better than any of the days I have seen here. I really can't see this place delivering the goods. Maybe winter might be better wave wise?... who knows.

Regardless, that's not what my post is about.. after one too many "accidents" on and off the water, I had to admit it just wasn't happening, and instead of bleeding money just for the sake of it, time to cut your loses, pack up, and regroup.

Everyone has bad trips.. I am sure.. that's not what worries me. What preoccupies me, is that on the water. The feeling was gone. Completely. I really wasn't feeling it *at all*.

So, now I am thinking.. ist that it?.. is it the place?.. or am I done with the sport?. The challenges are still there, but all I keep thinking while I was struggling to find a little patch of chop free water to at least attempt a humble Vulcan (hint: couldn't find it.. seriously), is how much I'd love to be in Costa Rica right now, earning my spot on the lineup , and waiting sitting on my surfboard waiting for my wave.

This sport changed my life. But I can't help but wonder, if like Buddha said, once you cross the river, there is no use hauling the raft on your shoulder further along the road. It would only hinder your journey. Is it time to let go?. And if so, what comes next?.

The trick it seems, is knowing when to let go.

Aloha!!